Cheat Sheet for Parenting a Teen

• Adolescence is a stage
• It has developmental and psychological tasks
 Prefrontal cortex development- problem solving, impulse control, decision making
 Group of friends is primary importance, formation of own identity, separating from
parents
• Recognize and support development of new skills- don’t take it personally
• Support development of resiliency- natural consequences and failing are good things- don’t deprive them of these
opportunities
• Congratulations! You’re not cool, don’t try to be
• Set boundaries- teens job to test, your job to keep and adjust with new growth and development
• Be intentional about being present
• Recognize you have different items of importance (clean room) than your teen (connecting with friends)-respect
these differences of priorities
• Ask questions
• Focus on a “third object”- not you or your teen, but something else, like a sport or a friend
• Say no
• Model respect
• Be present at events
• Don’t attempt to live out what you weren’t or were via your teen
• Be present when friends or dates are over
• Pull romantic interests in, don’t reject
• Ask about your teens perceptions
• Listen with respect
• Don’t minimize feelings
• Give emotional crisis 24 hours before reacting (unless someone is in danger of harm)
• Keep High expectations and provide high respect and support

Testimonials


"I had no idea what to expect from Life Coaching. Kerry helped me step back, evaluate and address my sources of stress. After just two sessions, I felt much more grounded and equipped to balance life, work and family."
–Ann R., business owner, college professor and mother

"Kerry has been instrumental in helping me turn negatives into positives; she always knows the right questions to ask. Because of this amazing experience, I feel much more empowered and ready to move to the next stage in my career."
– Casey C., TV producer and stylist